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Brooklyn Family Law Blog

How to co-parent during the holidays

For many New York residents, the holidays symbolize family time, festive celebrations and annual traditions. For divorced parents, however, the holidays can be a source of anxiety, stress and sadness. Rather than waiting until the last minute, holiday custody schedules should be discussed and decided far in advance so everyone is on the same page and there is less conflict overall. 

WebMD says the most important thing to consider is what is best for the children. This means avoiding conflict at all costs, which usually means spending each holiday separate from the ex. If at all possible, the kids should be involved in the decision-making process so they feel like they have some control and can share what are some of their important activities and traditions. One key to successfully planning the holidays is to step back from previous traditions and be open to making new ones with your children. 

Turning your life around after divorce

People end their marriages for many reasons, but some people file for a divorce because they cannot tolerate their spouse’s behavior. Drug addictions, gambling problems, infidelity and other issues can prompt someone to split up with their marital partner. Marriages can be toxic for many reasons and they can also create an environment that does not work out well for either party. Moreover, some people find themselves being brought down by their marriage in all sorts of ways, whether they lack the ambition to pursue their goals or they feel trapped and turn to destructive behaviors.

Divorce can be challenging, for sure. However, it can also open up new opportunities and allow people to completely turn their lives around. After filing for a divorce, you may have an easier time moving to a new city or even a new state. This could allow you to pursue personal and professional goals that were not possible during your marriage. Moreover, people may have more free time and the freedom to spend their free time as they wish. For example, you could be able to pick up new hobbies and activities that would have been difficult to participate in while you were married.

Two ways to preserve privacy in divorce

When divorce is on the table, one of the last concerns to arise usually involves privacy. When there is wealth involved, privacy tends to go out the door. If you are headed toward divorce in the Brooklyn area, you may want to work on keeping your personal and sensitive information from becoming public knowledge. 

Think about it. You and your spouse have worked hard for the financially comfortable lifestyle you have enjoyed together. Being part of a high-value relationship has its perks like affording you the means of professional support and keeping you from financial ruin during the divorce process. However, your wealth can also make you and your ex-partner’s personal business the talk of the town. Consider the following suggestions on protecting your privacy in high-value divorce

Should you use a mediator for your divorce?

If you and your spouse are splitting up, you are probably dreading the divorce process. Deciding on how to divide assets, who has primary custody of the children and what type of spousal support may be appropriate are just some of the aspects of divorce. Couples in New York have a number of options when making these crucial agreements. Working with lawyers and/or going to trial are two common methods, but they are not the only ones. For some, mediation is a better process and usually has beneficial outcomes. 

According to NY Connects, mediation consists of the two spouses working with a neutral mediator to come up with a mutual agreement about finances and family arrangements. Benefits include:

  • Cost-effective
  • More control over decisions
  • Less time-consuming than trial
  • Emotionally protects the children
  • More cooperative process
  • Better communication between both parties

Does your custody arrangement need to change for the school year?

Although it is not fun, divorced parents in New York need to spend time reevaluating their custody arrangement on a regular basis to make sure it is still working as it should for the child. The beginning of the school year is one time to look it over, as kid's schedules can change dramatically from one year to another. There are a number of considerations parents should take into account when deciding if changes need to be made and what they should be.

Huffington Post discusses three main things parents should consider before making any changes. These include:

  • Realistic plan - what parents think is the best arrangement may not be when reality rears its head
  • Open communication - are both parents able to communicate clearly and effectively in regard to the current schedule?
  • Activities of the child - extracurricular and academic needs will change as the kids get older

How certain habits and choices can increase your odds of divorce

With divorce rates at an all-time high, you may view the lifespan of your marriage as a bit of a crapshoot. Nonetheless, the reason that some marriages last while others fail is not entirely random—and researchers have discovered some common denominators underlying nuptials that lack permanency.

In today’s post, we examine some ordinary habits and decisions that could put your marriage on a rocky road:

Are you and your spouse interested in collaborative divorce?

If you and your spouse are heading for divorce court, you probably want to spend as little time there as possible.

One way to avoid lengthy court sessions and the accompanying battles is to choose collaborative divorce, and there are two options that may be of interest to you: mediation and arbitration.

Misconceptions may set men back in divorce

Divorce can affect different people in different ways, depending on many factors like their personalities, the circumstances of the divorce, the length of the marriage and the assets and children involved. Some experts also say men and women may have slightly different experiences of divorce, with men tending to struggle more with certain aspects. While men may bring up these issues more than others, both men and women divorcing in New York may struggle with some or all of them.

One of the common issues men struggle with in a divorce is not standing their ground in custody cases or with shared assets. This is because many believe the family court system favours women. However, this kind of thinking can be a trap because it often prevents men from standing up for what they want in fear of losing the case.

More women paying child support, according to survey

Finances are a frequent challenge for couples divorcing, especially when one spouse has significantly more than the other. Typically, the more money a person has, the more likely he or she is to pay alimony and child support. As more women become the breadwinners in New York and across the United States, this means an increasing number of mothers are being ordered to make such payments. 

According to the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, 54 percent of attorneys say more mothers have paid child support during the past three years. A similar number of lawyers noted an increase in alimony payments from women to their former spouses. They credit an uptick in women's earning power as well as increasingly gender-neutral family law standards.

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