How Some New York Spouses Get Blindsided After Marriage

The expression "love is blind" is based on a person's failure to recognize disagreeable or deal-breaking traits in a fianc? or spouse. How many New York couples have experienced shock following an intoxicating romance, engagement and storybook wedding?

Some spouses complain their partners changed for the worse after marriage. In truth, the euphoria of falling in love and the anticipation of marriage often override signs of incompatibility. No one wants to dwell on negatives when being in love feels so joyous.

A couple dates, becomes engaged and marries with approval and applause from family and friends. The encouraging audience disperses the moment the couple returns from the honeymoon and settles into everyday life with its mix of stresses and delights.

The celebrated couple begins a routine marital journey with shared realities of job expectations, house management, new family relationships and financial obligations. Any blinders that were worn until this point often begin to slip away from a spouse's eyes.

While many couples thrive in marriage, some spouses are caught off guard by a new partner's behavior. Money managements can be a sore point, especially for couples who spent little time in the past discussing finances.

Some spouses learn that a partner is a wasteful spender or has significant personal debts that were previously hidden. The revelation may cause resentment, distrust and eventual anger in the partner who was unaware of these problems.

Money issues are a frequent cause of divorce. Unfortunately, financial damage during marriage - past-due joint bills or taxes, defaulted mortgages, bad credit and bankruptcy - often plagues both ex-spouses into the future.

Couples counselors and money experts recommend frequent and honest financial discussions prior to marriage. Full disclosure of assets and liabilities, a budgeting plan and financial hopes are among the topics important to both parties.

Attorneys help clients understand the impact of marital property and equitable distribution laws on a divorce settlement.

Source:, "How A Divorce Helped Me Take Control Of My Money" Harriet Klein, Jun. 07, 2013